When it comes to dating, we often focus on chemistry, shared values, and personality compatibility. But there’s another crucial element that can make or break a relationship: money. Financial problems are one of the leading causes of stress and conflict in relationships, and spotting financial red flags early can help you avoid unnecessary heartache.

In this article, we’ll walk through the financial red flags that you should be aware of when dating. Understanding these signs can empower you to make healthier, more informed decisions about your relationships.

1. They Live Paycheck to Paycheck

While many people may struggle financially at different stages of life, someone who consistently lives paycheck to paycheck and has no emergency savings could be a red flag. Financial instability can lead to stress, and it may signal poor money management or a lack of planning for the future.

What to Look For:

• Constantly talking about struggling to make ends meet
• Never having any savings set aside for emergencies
• Always borrowing money from friends or family

Why It Matters:
Living paycheck to paycheck can strain a relationship, especially if the other person is more financially secure. Over time, it can create resentment or tension when one partner is not proactive about managing their money.

What You Can Do:
It’s important to have open, non-judgmental conversations about money early on. Ask about financial goals, budgeting habits, and how they handle debt.

2. They Avoid Talking About Money

A person who avoids talking about money might have financial secrets or feel uncomfortable about their financial situation. It’s common for people to feel embarrassed about debt, low income, or poor spending habits, but if someone consistently shuts down conversations about finances, it can indicate deeper issues.

What to Look For:

• Avoiding discussions about income, spending, or saving
• Becoming defensive or evasive when money topics arise
• Refusing to share financial goals or future plans

Why It Matters:
Financial transparency is key in a healthy relationship. If your partner refuses to open up about their finances, it can lead to trust issues down the road. You may feel like you’re in the dark about important financial decisions or responsibilities.

What You Can Do:
Set the tone for open communication by initiating honest, non-confrontational discussions about finances. Being transparent about your own financial situation can help encourage the other person to open up as well.

3. They Have Excessive Debt

Everyone has some form of debt—whether it’s student loans, credit cards, or mortgages—but excessive or mismanaged debt can be a red flag. It’s not just the amount of debt that matters, but how they’re handling it. Someone with significant, unmanaged debt may have poor money habits, which could affect the relationship down the line.

What to Look For:

• They regularly talk about how much debt they have or seem stressed by it
• They rely on credit cards for daily expenses but don’t pay them off
• They have a history of defaulting on loans or being in collections

Why It Matters:
Debt can put a strain on any relationship. It may lead to financial stress and could affect future goals, like buying a house or starting a family. Additionally, if one partner is burdened by debt, it can create an unequal power dynamic in the relationship.

What You Can Do:
If this is a major concern, consider having a candid conversation about how they’re working to manage or pay off their debt. If they’re unwilling to discuss it, or if they don’t have a plan, it may be a sign to reconsider the relationship.

4. They Overspend or Live Beyond Their Means

Everyone loves a little luxury here and there, but if your date consistently spends beyond their means, this can be a sign of financial irresponsibility. Impulse buying, living for the moment, and ignoring the importance of savings are habits that could cause problems in the future.

What to Look For:

• They always seem to be shopping, even when they can’t afford it
• They frequently rack up credit card debt
• They borrow money to fund their lifestyle or to impress others

Why It Matters:
Overspending can lead to credit card debt, loans, and financial stress that affect both partners. If you find that your partner is consistently living beyond their means, this may signal a larger issue with money management.

What You Can Do:
Encourage conversations about budgeting, prioritizing needs over wants, and setting long-term financial goals. If their financial behavior doesn’t align with your values, it could be a sign of incompatibility.

5. They Have Unrealistic Financial Expectations

If your partner has unrealistic financial expectations, like thinking they should always be able to afford luxuries or maintain a high standard of living, it could create tension in the relationship. While ambition is important, having unattainable goals without a plan to achieve them can lead to dissatisfaction and frustration.

What to Look For:

• They talk about wanting lavish vacations or purchases without a clear path to affording them
• They expect to always live a luxurious lifestyle without taking realistic steps toward that goal
• They pressure you into spending beyond your budget to keep up with appearances

Why It Matters:
Unrealistic financial expectations can place a strain on a relationship, especially if one partner is more financially responsible than the other. It may lead to resentment or financial distress.

What You Can Do:
Encourage your partner to develop practical financial goals and set realistic budgets for achieving them. If they are unwilling to compromise, it could signal that your financial priorities are mismatched.

6. They Live in Denial About Financial Problems

Financial problems don’t disappear on their own. If someone is in denial about their financial situation, whether it’s excessive debt, overspending, or poor credit, it could indicate a lack of maturity or unwillingness to face the reality of their finances.

What to Look For:

• They ignore bills or debts and avoid dealing with financial issues
• They don’t budget or plan for major expenses
• They constantly make excuses for their poor financial choices

Why It Matters:
Living in denial about finances can create a sense of instability in a relationship. If your partner refuses to acknowledge financial problems, they’re unlikely to take the necessary steps to improve the situation.

What You Can Do:
Open a conversation about acknowledging financial challenges and seeking solutions. A relationship built on honesty and responsibility will have a stronger foundation in the long run.

Money is a sensitive topic, but addressing financial red flags early in a relationship can prevent long-term issues. If you spot any of these warning signs, take the time to communicate openly and assess whether you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to managing money. Financial compatibility is just as important as emotional compatibility, so don’t be afraid to have these conversations!

By staying aware of these financial red flags, you can build a healthier and more secure relationship with someone who shares your values and goals.